Motivation Monday: Letting go

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my older brother's seizure that ultimately sealed his fate, and as I reflect on this moment, I realize I'm still processing. My relationship with my brother, Greg was confusing - in a way, I hated him for things he did to me and my family. But mostly, I loved him. He was the closest link to my past, and there was undoubtedly an innate bond that neither time nor history could break. Thus, the notion that my dad and I had to make the impossible decision to turn off life support has proven to be difficult to digest. My head knows the right decision was made; my heart is still healing.

Regardless, I'm learning to let go and move forward for me...and for my surviving family.

A friend recently admitted I'm a person with high anxiety - a part of me appreciated her honesty; the other wanted to retort, "duh." I think anyone that experienced the amount of family drama, deaths and uncertainty I have in the last 12-years (well, 33 years) would suffer live with anxiety. But it got me thinking. I need to rid myself of this built-up anger, sadness, frustration and fear that has dictated my life. It's time to be freed of these negative, martyr-thoughts in order to start living in the now. I believe this is the first step; making the decision. Check!

And of course with my affinity for lists, here are some great, tangible ways to let it go of the past: relationships, past hurt or both.

• After making the decision to let go, express your pain...as well as your responsibility. Write it down, journal, channel through positive activities (exercise, support groups, music, art), and/or address the source. No matter how you decompress, remember to recognize your involvement - no man is an island, so-to-speak. Therefore, our actions and words have consequences.
• This moves into another step. Stop viewing yourself as the victim. Once you move from a victim perspective, you are able to become a survivor. You have allowed yourself to process the pain - now make the choice to move forward. 
• Focus on the present. It's a gift to be able to live in the moment - but it takes practice. Start to view each experience as a gift - an opportunity to grow, give, improve oneself and enjoy.
• Lastly, forgive. 

Sure, these steps are easier "typed" then applied but just reviewing personally makes me feel empowered. And as I always state to my scholarship students; your past doesn't dictate your future. 

In the meantime, RIP Greggie - I miss you daily. Love you always.