Motivation Monday: Be honest with yourself

I've written about honesty before as it's something very important to me - it's the number one quality I seek in any relationship: personal and professional alike. It's also the sexiest quality, in my opinion and one I admire the most in others. And, it's the one trait I make a priority.

I've unfortunately encountered a few dishonest people in my life - heck, two of my family members are victims of pathological lying. Their "truth" is a manifestation of the many lies they have told to either inflate their lives or skirt the facts. It has taken many years to understand that their reality is different than my own - and I'm learning to be okay with this fact. It's their battle; not mine.

I've also had friends that have not been comfortable sharing their truth with me - again, their struggle; not mine.

But as I think about honesty - in my friends, family and loved ones - I realize the most important person to be honest with is myself. That's what counts!

In searching about this virtue, I have come across a wonderful article from Tiny Buddha - one of my favorite bloggers. Check out some reflections from her guest blogger who wrote about honesty and tips to be honest with yourself.

[Source: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-tips-to-tell-the-truth-about-yourself-and-to-yourself/. Copied directly as I loved her sass!]

Honesty can be hard. This is the first thing to know because it’s super-duper true. If you’re not used to being honest with yourself, you can’t imagine the suckitude you’ll experience when you start. The good news is that you’ll probably only be able to dish it out in small doses, so you can get used to it over time.

You have to do the work. If, like me, you are convinced that if you have a problem with honesty, it’s only a teeny-tiny one, hang on for a fun ride. Most of us are deceiving ourselves in any number of ways every day. Not all are dramatic as mine, but all require a commitment to the process.

The results are unbelievable. Remember the depth of suckitude I mentioned? Well, that’s only rivaled by the heights of awesomeness you feel when you lift the oppressive burden of your lies. Sometimes you only glimpse it for a moment, but that feeling isn’t something you’ll forget. For me, it’s not dissimilar to the high I feel after eating a really great cookie (or 20). But the difference is that the high of the truth isn’t laden with shame and guilt, which—I don’t know about you—are typically things I prefer to avoid.

Honesty sets you free. I’ve been on 65 diets in my life. Yep, that number’s correct. But you know what? I swear I still thought I just hadn’t found the right one. That is, until I got really honest with myself and realized that the work I needed to do was internal, not external.

Making it Happen. Now, this honesty thing isn’t only theoretical to me. It’s also for-real concrete, which is really what it has to be if you’re hoping for some change in your life. So not to worry: I won’t leave you hanging without some thoughts on how to peel the layers to your own truthy core.
You got a pencil? (Or mouse to copy and paste?) Okay, here we goooo…

• Find something to write on or with. You’re going to need to do some serious excavating, and there’s no place better to start than with your own thoughts. Ask yourself some questions: “Why am I doing X behavior?” “What don’t I want my best friend to know about me?” “What’s my next step?” As you start to write on questions like this, some interesting things may come to light, which brings us to our next step. 
• Seek help. No, you don’t need a therapist, life coach, or whoever because you’re messed up. You need outside assistance because you want to undertake a process to set yourself free. And that’s really best done with an objective ear and skills. I mean, I know your Uncle Frank is a great listener, but seriously—his training may not be quite what you’re looking for. 
• Keep coming back. Telling the truth about yourself (especially to yourself) isn’t a linear process. It requires coming back and coming back and coming back—even, and especially, after you eat a whole box of doughnuts (if you’re like me). 
• See yourself in the future. As I mentioned, once you get a taste of the freedom of honesty, it’s hard not to want more of that. So set your sights on a time when you’re living fully into your life, and then go from there—making that reality present a little more every day. After all, if setting ourselves free in this lifetime isn’t our primary work, what is?

And here's a great quote from good ol' Ellen!
 
“Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.”-Ellen DeGeneres